It never fails.

There’s always some chump who specializes in dumping his insecurities, anger, fear, and corrupted self-image onto your lap. As soon as he walks into the building, his presumptuousness, ego, and arrogance wafts through the halls like three week old sushi remains. It’s not fun.

But really, it’s not him that makes you hate getting up in the morning. It’s not not him that makes you hesitate that one extra moment before you swipe your FOB key card. What makes your life miserable is the fact that after some conditioning, you start second guessing yourself. You start wondering what YOU did to “attract” him into your life. You start wondering if you really resemble some of his hurled accusations.

It’s like when Elaine told Seinfeld that she wanted to date “Mr. Worst Breaker Upper.” She just had to see what all the women were so distraught about after they stopped dating this guy. After a while, Elaine dumps him saying he had no features that would crush a woman’s heart. He was unattractive, not witty, not even kind. As he walks out, under his breath, he mutters, “So long, ‘forehead!’”

At first, Elaine brushed off the remark.

Then, over the balance of the show, she ends up desperately seeking reassurance from every friend and every mirror that her forehead wasn’t gargantuan.

So how do you break this cycle? How do you break jerks and idiots?

You may find the answer surprising…

Posted via web from journik’s posterous – a grade A shouldery. (social media agencies / marketing wise)

There’s one in every class, department, and family tree. Somebody is going to be the least happy most imposing person in any room. Be that as it may, things don’t get ugly until they personally dump on you. That’s when things get bad.

If you don’t say anything and let their first trespass pass, they invariably see you as the lowest point of resistance and repeat their ever intensifying attacks in your direction.

The worst part is when you start second guessing yourself. The worst part is when their crap actually burrows into your emotional and mental well being. You start asking yourself if you really are as stupid and incompetent as they make you feel. You start spinning your wheels wondering what the heck you did to “attract” this jerk into your life.


enlarge Maoxian’s Tweet

It’s like that Seinfeld where Elaine wanted to date this one guy who was called the “worst breaker upper” just to see what made him so horrible to break up with. She goes out with him a couple of times and doesn’t see how this short ugly man could possibly ruin so many women’s lives. He finally breaks up with Elaine. On the way out, he mutters at Elaine under his breath, “See ya later, Ms. Big Forehead.”

The entire rest of the show was Elaine asking everyone who crossed her path if they thought she had a big big forehead. That one little remark insidiously crept in and undermined Elaine’s entire self worth.

With all the ancient sociological wisdom of humanity, there’s got to be some simple secret solution to destroying that jerk at work (family or school). There is… it’s in the form of a Dao saying, “To a dog, all are dogs. To Buddha, all are enlightened.” What the heck does THAT mean???