How to Force Clients to Pay You – Lessons In Collecting I Learned From My Girlfriends

I’m glad women occasionally stalk me back.

One of these girls was dripping beautiful. She was half Irish, half Spanish, half divine. She grew up mostly naked before Cabo San Lucas became a tourist trap. She’d wake up in the morning, jump out of bed, and run 20 paces to dive into the Sea of Cortez. When she did, I swear she was a mermaid. But she was also a siren. If she opened her lips and spoke more than three words, it was hard to argue with her. She made “doing her bidding” a pleasure.

I used to occasionally have a hard time collecting from some of my clients. After Christina rubbed off on me, I’ve never had problems with accounts receivables. This is what she taught me about getting clients to pay you on time:

1. Keep your interaction with your clients very short but even sweeter.
Christina lived with me half the time. But for some reason, she was always busy, occupied, booked, or otherwise unavailable. She made herself scarce. She tightly controlled the supply of her. But when she accepted a dinner date engagement, she was 100% there. She turned off her cell phone noticeably. She sat close to me. She leaned into me. Eye contact with her was like dipping your hand into a warm jar of honey.

Being with her was so pleasant, cherishing that relationship became a priority. She never had to ask for anything twice (or send out late payment notices).

2. Develop relationships with your clients’ clients.
I never saw this coming.

I hate slobbery dogs. Christina had a slobbery dog. I’d meet her at her house straight from the office and her slobbery dog would plant it’s muddy paws on my suit and scuff up my leather shoes. That wasn’t so bad. He would wipe his runny nose on my slacks. It left a stain that looked like I should have had a much better time.

So I became unfriendly to dog. Everytime I met Christina at her house, I’d have a $50 dry cleaning bill.

Sure, you’re thinking, “look, why don’t you just change into jeans before you show up you anal asshole?”

The answer is simple. It’s because I’m an anal asshole.

In my Korean culture, we eat dogs. We shouldn’t have to change our lifestyle and spend precious human minutes to accommodate an undisciplined ingredient that goes in our won-ton hors d’oeuvres.

Christina never complained. She never tried to change me. I could tell that she wanted me to relax and be affectionate with her dog but she never said a word. Instead, my dude friends took me out for drinks one night and said, “look, why don’t you just change into jeans before you show up you anal asshole?”

I had no idea how they knew. Then I got flashbacks. Christina was always hospitable, warm, and empathetic to all my friends. At parties, she would cater to my friends and they would all pour their hearts out to her. Many of those “pre-existing engagements” of hers were with my friends. She developed a network of influence around my network of influence.

“Honey, your college buddy Ryan just called. He said he wants to get some advice from me. Do you mind?”

She never had to complain or try to change me. All she had to do is express to one of my friends that she was unhappy with one tiny thing and they would take care of the rest. 

I make sure to thank my clients when their clients want my “advice.” I never get paid late.

3. Destroy the client. Create a partner.
This is probably one of the strangest things Christina did. On nights she didn’t want to go out, if I really wanted to go out, she got me a date – last minute. No. She didn’t run an escort service. That was another girlfriend of mine, Sandra (learned a lot from her too).

“Honey, Janet called the other day. She said she wanted to pick our brains about her boyfriend but I think this is more your territory. Do you mind going out with her instead?”

Christina had a way of delivering outside the scope of our bf-gf contract. She delivered solutions that matched up the needs of everyone in her life. My clients come to me with a specific need. That creates a one directional client/provider relationship. I immediately destroy that narrow relationship pipe and see how I can support all of my clients’ big picture goals.

You can see why I don’t get paid late. And occasionally, I wonder if I’ll see Christina again.

I have lots of readers in the tech, health, and corporate daoism fields. Drop me a hello @journik and I’ll share your blog or work with my subscribers.

Posted via web from Social Media Marketing Strategies for the Closet Revolutionary